Ask Ausiello

Ausiello: Did I say I went on a vacation? I misspoke. I actually had a, um, er, unforeseen family emergency. Yeah, that's it. You know I'd never go MIA during the most important week of the year unless it was an unavoidable matter of critical importance. Thanks for understanding. If it's any consolation, I spent the entire weekend getting caught up on all the big finales to ensure that you guys get the closure (read: my two cents) you were so desperately missing last week. So, without further adieu, here are my better-late-than-never, hit-and-run critiques of this season's big cappers:

Grey's Anatomy: B+ (Ellen Pompeo has never been better. Ditto Justin Chambers. Loved the final shot. Shonda Rhimes, consider thyself redeemed.)

Ugly Betty: C (As I feared, ABC is looking at those sagging ratings and fixing what ain't broken. I'm all for refocusing the show around Betty, but does it have to come at the expense of the funny?)

Gossip Girl: A- (Blair to Georgina: "Haven’t you heard? I’m the crazy bitch around here. Have fun in reform school" 'Nuff said.

House: A+ (Is it too late to amend my Dream Emmy Ballot to include Robert Sean Leonard, Anne Dudek and Hugh Laurie? It is? Crap.)

Bones: B+ (Zack? WTF? Just kidding. I knew all along. Still, cool twist!)

How I Met Your Mother: B+ (Stella's so the mother… I think. Josh Radnor and Sarah Chalke are magic together… I know.)

Desperate Housewives: B+ (Even without the flash-forward twist, this ep was a knockout.)

Brothers & Sisters: B+ (If I've said it once, I've said it a million times: Faux incest is best!)

The Office: A+ (Inspired comedy from start to finish. Best ep of the season.)

Lost: A+ (So what if I haven't seen it yet? Based on everything I'm hearing, it's going to be awesome!)

Ausiello: The significant death I hinted in the last AA? It's for sure an original cast member. This just in: Better make that (gulp) three original cast members. That's right, per my Lost mole, a trio of island vets won't survive tomorrow's finale. Crikey!

Ausiello: Nah. Perhaps you haven't noticed, but I have better things to do with my life.

Ausiello: I hear someone may be preggers — and that someone shared a red-hot smooch in the finale!

Ausiello: Based on the finale, I'd say there's a 33.333333 percent shot, right? Truth be told, no final decision has been made yet. Wisely, McManus isn't twiddling her thumbs waiting for producers to decide her fate. The up-and-comer has booked a juicy guest stint on CSI: NY to air next fall. She'll play a flight attendant who gets caught up in a hijack scheme and ends up helping Mac.

Ausiello: Casting scoop! Sources confirm to me exclusively that Jessalyn Gilsig is reprising her role as Claire's white-trash mom for five episodes next season.

Ausiello: Stationery show? I don't know what you're talking about. I already told you, I had a family emergency. You probably just saw someone with bushy eyebrows and assumed it was me. Now, regarding Boston Legal, the only "locks" for next season are James Spader and, surprisingly, Christian Clemenson. There are no deals currently in place for William Shatner or Candice Bergen to return, but everyone expects that to change in the next few weeks. As for the rest of the cast — or the "below the marquee" talent, as you so aptly put it — they should probably start looking for other work. If they haven't already.

Ausiello: Let's go with who and when. The hitcom is casting three new roles to debut next season. First up is Dr. Andy Adams, Sam's a-dork-able neurologist who, once her insurance stops covering her treatments, finally gets the opening he's been waiting for to ask her out. Don't expect the path to be clear for him, though. In addition, the show is on the lookout for someone to play Owen, a squeaky-clean but filthy-rich Bruce Wayne type who's catnip to the ladies. Finally, there's Seth, so named because producers are going for a Seth Rogan archetype — a sloppy goofball who answers to the name "Dude" as often as the name "Seth." Oh, and here's another little tidbit for you: One of these roles is thisclose to going to an actor who's highly recognizable as the big-screen sidekick of a current House regular. How lucky are you people? I mean, really — you not only get your AA questions answered, but sometimes, when you're really, really good, I give you a blind item within the answer.

Ausiello: Alright, the rumors are true: I was, in fact, at the National Stationery Show helping my partner launch his sensationally sassy new line of greeting cards, sticky pads and gift tags called Pretty Bitter. (Warning: It's stationery that pushes the envelope — aka, NSFW!) That sort of qualifies as a family emergency. I mean, if I hadn't gone I would have received the world's most personalized Dear John letter.

Ausiello: First person to correctly guess the horrible word Crawford called me wins a limited edition, stainless steel Ausiello Scoop! Send your guesses to ask_ausiello@tvguide.com ASAP!

Ausiello: Sounds like someone (read: Stacie) neglected to watch last week's Ausiello Report vodcast, in which the Nip/Tuck minx answers both those questions. (BTW, an FX rep denies McCord's assertion that Nip/Tuck is coming back this summer. They claim the show's return date is TBD.)

Ausiello: One of the three Emmy-worthy leads will face a cancer scare this season.

Ausiello: Thanks Marie for reminding everyone that my annual campaign to win PETA's SV honors has begun anew! As you'll recall, Kevin Eubanks edged me out at the 11^th hour last year due to Jay Leno's shameless Tonight Show stumping. Help me avoid a repeat of that embarrassing fiasco by circulating this link to your friends/family and their friends and family with the following instructions: Vote for Ausiello! I don't think my enormous ego faint heart can withstand another crushing defeat. Now, what was your question Marie? Moonlight on the CW? Ain't happening. Sorry. But please, don't let that affect your vote! Would an endorsement from Alex O'Loughlin help? 'Cause I can probably make that happen.

Ausiello: What gives is… I'm about to more than make it up to you with the following exclusive mini-Q&A with exec producer Shane Brennan featuring your burning questions about the season finale! Woo-hoo! 

• Are they really writing out McGee, DiNozzo and Ziva à la House, or will they all be back next season?! Patrick

Brennan: No fan of NCIS will be disappointed when the show returns in September. I promise, we're not doing a House! But strap into your seats, it's going to be a heart stopping ride....

• Please, please, please tell me that they’re not really breaking up the team on NCIS! Lu Ann

Brennan: Deep breaths. Everything is going to be fine. This is Gibbs' team, right?   

• Will the show be introducing any new team members next season? Chris

Brennan: Yes. And no. 

Ausiello: Like you even have to ask? Kristen Bell. Duh.

Ausiello: Congratulations Candy — you just answered your very own question! I believe that's only the second time that's happened in AA history. Let's have a round of applause for Candy!

Ausiello: I'm guessing not. When asked who got blown up in the episodes final seconds, exec producer Ed Bernero said in this week's issue of TV Guide, "The person who's injured is the right person to have been injured, and it will all make sense when you see the rest of this story." Notice how he said injured and not killed? Notice also how I repurposed a fairly innocuous quote from the magazine to distract you from the fact that I really don't have an answer to your question? I'm sneaky like that.

Ausiello: Normally, I'd enforce the "Only one question per Aushole" rule, but considering I left you guys high and dry last week, I'll make an exception just this once. Your answers are as follows: Yes, yes, perhaps, and testing for pilots.

Ausiello: We'll find out how Ben turned up in the Tunisia desert in "Shape of Things to Come." And for your information, Michael Emerson entered himself in the supporting actor slot, so he isn't even competing against Matthew Fox. You should be directing your anger at one of these guys: Ted Danson, Matthew Rhys, John Slattery, Donald Sutherland and Michael K. Williams.

Ausiello: Yeah, well, can't help you there. Dean is going to change. Big time.

Ausiello: It's half true. Sci Fi passed on picking up new episodes, but there's still a chance it could air existing episodes. Short story shorter: Keep fighting!  

Ausiello: There will be numerous injuries, but only one death.

Ausiello: As of now she's signed on for three episodes (including a cameo in the premiere). Her participation beyond that is TBD.

Ausiello: July 14-22. Save the dates, 'cause barring another, um, family emergency, the diaries will be back and bitchier better than ever!

Ausiello: Based on her morning-after post-mortem, I think she was referring to Mer/Der's big smooch. Personally, the Alex/Izzie kiss was the only one that made me lean into the TV.

Ausiello: Really? He said that? My sources are telling me it'll be closer to 24 episodes.

Ausiello: The show has cast the Mexican George Clooney (aka Demian Bichir) to play Mary Louise Parker's new love interest this season. His character, Esteban, is the mayor of Tijuana, and he's described as sexy, dangerous and powerful — the trifecta!

Ausiello: No chance, I'm afraid. But based on some of the other names being tossed around to play Bobby Cannavale's lovah half (********* ***** and ******* ****** to name two), I have every confidence that Rob Thomas will find a worthy successor to Paula Marshall.

Ausiello: Would you believe Simon Elder has a son? Well, believe it. The demon’s spawn, who we’ll meet early next season, is 17 and is not a big fan of pop’s new girlfriend.

Ausiello: I've got another stainless steel, limited edition Ausiello Scoop up for grabs! Any guesses as to what my life is, per Scott? E-mail me at ask_ausiello@tvguide.com ASAP!

OK, that’s a wrap! Massive apologies again for leaving you guys in the lurch last week. I was honestly taken aback by the sheer intensity of the hostility grief that resulted from my absence. Who knew? (Tee-hee.) Moving forward, I'll try and schedule my "family emergencies" during the off-season. Or not. Let's play it by ear, K?